thank you so much for anyone who would even skim this and answer.I don't even know what I'm asking. no teens answering please, i want older wise advice, ppl in their 50s, 30s?
Wow, quite a story you have there. I had one of those moments where I would have a big ';crush'; over a guy and be crazy about it. First of all, it's good to hear that you said: '; I’m not saying at all that I am in love, because I feel I am too young and immature to be able to even feel such a great thing.'; Not many teens realize that when they're in love. I read this one book that might help you. This book answers almost to every teens' questions through out their lives going through adulthood. It is under the title, ';Am I ready to date?';:
In many lands dating is viewed as a means of romantic entertainment, a fun activity. Dating thus takes many forms. For some, a date is a formal, structured affair - flowers, a lovely dinner, and a good-night kiss are all part of the agenda; For others, a date simply means spending some time together with someone you like of the opposite sex. There are even couples who are constantly together but who claim to be 'just friends.' Well, whether you call it dating, going together, or just seeing each other, it usually amounts to the same thing: a boy and a girl spending a lot of time together socially, often unsupervised.
Nevertheless, a teenager should not begin dating simply because he or she feels pressured to do so! For one thing, dating is a serious business - a part of the process of selecting a marriage mate. MARRIAGE? Admittedly, this may be the last thing on the minds of most youths who date. But really, what justification could there be for two people of the opposite sex to begin spending a lot of time together other than to investigate the possibility of marrying each other?
But therein lies a big problem with teenage dating: Teenagers are just beginning to learn how to control these sexual feelings. True, you may well know God's law regarding sex and you may sincerely desire to remain chaste. Even so, a biological fact of life comes into play: The more you keep company with a member of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow - whether you want it or not. It is the way all of us are made! Until you are older and more in control of your feelings, dating may simply be too much for you to handle. Unfortunately, many youths find this out the hard way.
God tells young people: ';Rejoice, young man [ or woman ], in your youth, and let your heart do you good in the days of your young manhood, and walk in the ways of your heart and in the things seen by your eyes.'; Young people do tend to ';walk in the ways of [ their ] heart.'; Yet, so often those ';ways,'; which seem to be such fun, end up bringing vexation and calamity. The Bible thus urges in the following verse: ';Remove vexation from your heart, and ward off calamity from your flesh; for youth and the prime of life are vanity.'; (Ecclesiastes 11:9, 10) ';Vexation'; refers to being deeply troubled or sorely distressed. ';Calamity'; denotes a personal disaster. Both can make life miserable.
Does this mean, then, that dating is a source of vexation and calamity? Not necessarily. But it can be if you date for a wrong reason ('for fun') or before you are ready for it! The following questions may therefore prove helpful in evaluating your own situation.
-Would dating help or hinder my emotional growth?
-Do I want to cause hurt feelings?
-What do my parents say?
-Will I be able to follow the Bible's morality?
So ask yourselves the questions above.. Are you ready to date (which means to take the responsibility of marriage)?
I know these are long advice, but I hope it will help you with your decision :)I don't even know what I'm asking. no teens answering please, i want older wise advice, ppl in their 50s, 30s?
Wow.... way to long to read... good luck
i'm in my 40's and don't have the attention to read all this. too much
Ok your story is way too long, I got bored just trying to read it, so let me tell you, it is very simple. Instead of you telling others you like him just tell him yourself and see what he had to say!
Just tell him you like him and take the chance. Life will have a lot of heart breaks and its actually something to look forward to in life's little experiences. But you need to tell him and take that chance. It may be the best think that has ever happened to you. Well since you are only 15 it probably will be for a while. Good Luck!
youre right, it is these years when people change into their final selves by the time 20+ comes people stop this process and you can find a person then
Tell him how you feel. Tell him what you've told us. If he goes and doesn't come back then it's not meant to be. The last thing you want is to be sat in an old folkes home saying ';when I was 15 I wish I'd.....';. Take the chance and do it.
wow! sounds like you have a problem there! i know you really care about him but im sorry to say that the best thing to do is remain friends and hint to him that you like him somehow but if he asks you out then just.... some how explain to him that you do care- a lot- but that you dont want anything to happen to your friendship. tell him that once you both mature a little you would love to date but at the moment you want to remain friends so that you dont lose a friendship that is a very important part of your life. dont let him go- guys like that dont come around very often, but dont ruin it by throwing yourself all over him.
HOPE THIS HELPS!
ps- most people read the question if you put that you want older advise bc people on the internet can be mean and they will try to confuse you with the wrong advise!
Okay, while I agree that you could have summed this up a bit more succinctly, I'm actually going to take a crack at answering. First, I'm not quite as old as you asked for; I'm 29, but I am happily married and have been for almost 9 years. When it comes to love, people can be pretty irrational, so I think it's good that you have a realistic streak, but really...people who spend too much time wondering what the consequences of everything is just let life pass them by as they wonder. Yes, it really would be too bad if the end of your romantic relationship killed your friendship, but what would happen if your friendship ended anyways and you never took that plunge? Either way, wouldn't it be so much better to have the incredible memories of being together as more than friends and everything that came before that? Call me 'unrealistic', but I think so. Besides...what if it DOES work out, and you DO end up spending the rest of your happy lives together? There may not be very much chance of winning the lottery, but you can't win if you don't play. It's cliché, but like most clichés, it's also true. Good luck!
First off I'm a teenager, that doesn't mean you should just blow off my response. I have a few reasons I'm answering, I saw the dead end comments below and wondered why they'd bother to dismiss you instead of saying a thing at all, and I'm also mature and I agree with you that people over use the word love.
You sound incredibly confused, and I don't think you should let someone else make an answer for you that impacts your entire life so much. You sound very emotional, which is a great thing but it's also a painful thing, and other people may not be able to understand how solidly you feel for this person. Everyone's response when ever someone is respectful or polite is they're gay, but that just helps you know who's worth talking to and who's not. He sounds like a good person, who will respect your wishes to not move too fast or to slow. If you want him, and he wants you for a relationship then the chance has come now, and timing might not be ideal but wouldn't you rather take a risk then have something fail before it ever happened? You're going to get hurt, everyone gets hurt but you talk about how amazing it was to kiss him, so you might also be happy too. Pain is going to be expected at any part of life, do what feels right to you, live for the moment. If you spend so much time planning ahead you forget to live now. I wish you the best of luck, I'm sorry I'm not older but I thought my opinion might still count for something in this situation.
There are people who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. People who come for a reason help you with something that you are needing at that point in your life. Then eventually they will go away. People who are in your life for a season will make you feel things that you have never felt. It's a great feeling! But, it too shall pass. Lifetime friends are hard to come by. In my past experience what you are experiencing is something that will last a season. Love it and embrace it while you can. Because this too shall pass.
The first 5 people who answered this are SO RUDE! I dont think that it was too long to read (and to the fifth person who answered, I care! :P)
I know you wanted someone older, and unfortunately im not, but once I read this, i realized that i feel the same way for this one guy who goes to my school-he is SO amazing, and i feel like i have the same feelings towards him as you do towards this other guy. I feel like I do NEED him (even though i may not want to actually admit it!!!)
I really think that you two should go out-you both like each other! Even if things dont work out, you could always be friends, and never give up being together! Good Luck, and hope this helps! =)
You are a lot smarter than you know for realizing that teenage love is fickle. That's why waiting until you are in your twenties is a good idea. There are a lot of young ladies who have thrown their lives away on a teenage love. Only to realize that when they turn about 20 they don't see that person again because you start to grow up really quickly after you leave high school. You have a long live to live preserve it. Many young ladies get caught up in there first love and after they have ';done it'; they have an unhealthy emotional attachment that they can't break. So I'm sure you know some girls who are dating looser bf, but they won't drop him. (Not saying your guy is a looser. But only time reveals what is really in the heart of a person) They might be on again off again with him but they can't seem to move on. And this is why because they got caught up. If your 23 year old self could talk to you about the this relationship, do you think she would say run away? That is the voice of wisdom talking and she will preserve your life and keep you from a world of unnecessary pain.
well, i read the whole thing. and,
you really seem to care about him so much.
but, its seems that you don't have faith in your relationship, like saying you know it will probably end. if you both care about each other so much, you should have more faith in your relationship, that right there, will make it last longer.
as for should you date him, i don't think anyone can really tell you that. thats for you and him to think about, and talk about, and decide whethere you want to take that step.
okay babe im not old and wise like you want this answer to be but i just read your whole thing so im going to answer it...you say that all these things are 1in a billion but if he like you and you like him take that chance and yes it is scary but it could be such an amazing thing and i tottally agree with you about how we are so young and have no clue what love is but the truth is you just have to find love and grab it and it sounds like you two have strong feelings for each other and thats the most important thing and its good that theres more then a sexual attraction i feel you should take the chance and be with him cause you dont want a what if situation....hope this helps and replay back if you would
hello. im 48 yrs old. happily married wuth 2 kids...what should you do?... at 15 yrs old.. what is happening to you is naturall. you are discovering and learning the best gift of all.. the gift of love..everyone goes thru this stage, such as yourself. but a reminder for you..proceed with caution..dont get carried away to much with your emotions..emotions cue change thru the course of time..you love him now..YES!! i know you do..what about after 5 years...the year 2013..maybe yes!! or maybe NO!! we cant tell..your not there yet..its only 2008.we all wish you are still in love.....But!! the most important of all ..is..Be Happy You Have The Ability To Love!! embrace it. nurture it...and most of all RESPECT IT!!
good luck
you know girl, you sound more mature than most of the older adults that answered your question! I don't want to be didrespectful to anyone but that is just sad to know that 30 and 40 year old people can not be serious when someone who is younger than them needs help from people who you would think to be experienced and mature enough to answer respectfully. i'm sorry but thats just down right laziness if you ask me. i myspelf am not a firm believer in dating at a young age ( i'm also 15) and i am not dating and i do agree with you that adult relations should be at an adult age. but i think thats just sad to know that adults that should know better can even help someone with a serious question. well to be honest I don't really know what to tell you myself, but I believe that in your heart you truly know the answer. if your still not sure, then pray and ask God. he'll help you wiht anything.
Unfortunately you said a lot without asking a question. I don't exactly know what you're saying except you really care for this guy. Tell him how you feel and perhaps you will find he feels the same way. My concern is that you seem to be obsessing about him. That is not true love. You say you would live the rest of your life miserable so that he would be happy...that's not love that is obsession. You need to focus on yourself and love yourself equally (or more). It's time for you to concentrate more on who YOU are then making him happy. You are young so you don't realize yet how love will change as you get older and more mature. The best way to love someone is to love yourself first.
Good luck to you.
Please honey, we're old... our eyes arent so good lol next time add some paragraphs please %26gt;%26lt;
But seriously... go for it. You only live once. Ask him out. If he says yes, have as much fun as you can together and enjoy life. If it doesnt work out, you learn from the experience and move on. Life is too short to be afraid of risking feeling sad after meeting someone who makes you happy... even if that happiness is only short lived. Nothing in life is for sure - but you never know unless you try. Dont stay at home in your room alone and let life pass you by just because you might lose a friendship. Its a risk everyone takes. Good luck.
I'm a man in my 50's and am happily married for 35 yrs. this Aug.
First you wrote way too much...but then again you're only 15 and are truly puzzled. However, you do a lot of thinking on this boyfriend subject.
Have you spoke to your mother/father about this? If he's your best friend and you're with him all the time your parents undoubtedly know him. What do they think of him? Do they like him? Does he like them? Do they feel you're old enough to have a boyfriend? Do they think it would be wise to persue him as a boyfriend?
These are important questions I've brought up and you need to answer them b/c boyfriends and girlfriends involve your whole family. Speak to your parents. It sound like you're a pretty level headed person and you didn't get that way all by yourself. Someone had to steer you along. I'd like to think it was your parents. Speak to them and see what they have to say. They may even drive you both to a movie.
You're young. Have a good life.
okay so I got a little off track. but if you are asking if you could be in love--then yes. however, i only know one person that stayed with someone that they started out with at such a young age. she was 12 when they got together. she is about 26 now and they are married and still together. you mentioned getting hurt. that is a chance you take always in any relationship. i am not encouraging sex at your age, but i will say life is short. try the relationship and see where it goes. if it ends up hurting,thats okay--you will be okay. hurt only makes people grow. sounds like you are already there, to be honest. this could be forever, who knows??
wow...i got lost sorry
um, you could just try dating him and see what happens?
wow u really do care about this guy it really touched me but i wuld go for it i mean you guys have already kissed so technically your ';attached?'; in a sense i guess and if you dont it will eat you up on the inside and youll always wonder wat culda been and hey ive know ppl who hooked up when theyre 14 and now theyre married with two kids and they each like 40 something so id go for it (im only 14 just so u know but i felt like reading it anyway)
You have given this relationship much thought but you are also getting caught up in too much at one time. It sounds like your are great friends and that both of you have a special bond.
Sometimes dating can ruin that specialness so you should take it slowly. At fifteen you have many years ahead to learn about love and the different kinds of love.
Don't forget who you are. Never wrap yourself up so tightly to another that you can not stand on your own in all aspects.
Friendship is a wonderful thing whether it develops into romantic love or stays as a true best friend. Never take the stand that someone needs to complete you. Take the stand that they can add to your already complete self. ( if that make sense)
Talk to your friend openly about your feelings. Do not seal your relationship with sex. This just adds more complications. Wait until you are older and ready. Follow your common sense inner voice, and just take your sweet time being you. Learn from life and enjoy it.
I must add that you sound like a very nice young lady and he sounds like a very nice young man.
Have sex with him and take it from there.
WOAHHH goood luck finding someone who actually cares.
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