Parents... teen needs advice on understanding her parents?

i'll be 18 next week and am trying to find a way to bring up the issue of a curfew extension.. on the weekends.. to my parents.





here are a few things about me:


-ive never missed my curfew


-im usually 10-15 minutes early


-im still in high school so its really just for the weekends


-ive never gotten into drinking or drugs so they don't have to worry about any of that


-im always honest about who im with and where im at





.. ive been doing all this to build up their trust and it seems like they're having a harder time than ever letting go..


i guess i just need to hear from some other parents to understand this..





thanks


michelleParents... teen needs advice on understanding her parents?
You didn't say what time curfew is, so I don't have a sense of what is/isn't reasonable here.





Your parents love you, and yes they are trying to protect you. It scares them when you are out and they dont know what's going on, where you are. If they are like me (I have a 14 year old)...they trust YOU, it's the rest of the world they aren't too sure about !





Start with your mom. Tell her that ...now that you are 18...you'd like to stay out another 30 minutes (or wahtever). Reassure her that you understand they are concerned about things they can't control. Tell her what precautions you will take (I'll always call you 30 minutes before I head home , I promise I will NEVER get in a car with someone driving who is compromised at all, whatever) ... ask her to try it for 3 weeks and you two can then talk and reasses how it is working out.





It's not you they are worried about probably, so recognize that, and talk to them from that angle. Don't start a fight....speak with understanding of their position.Parents... teen needs advice on understanding her parents?
You just honestly told us why you want a curfew extension. How about telling all that to them? They were all good things. I'd give you extensions on the weekends! Also, mention how good your grades are (if they're good.) I do not see any thing wrong in telling all that to your parents.


One word of caution though: If they extend your curfew, don't blow it by doing something stupid!
My suggestion is sit down with your parents and disscuss the issues... present to them that you are now 18 and that you have always been responsible with your curfew...and that you will uphold that... I believe they will extend your xurfew if you present basic facts of responsiblity.
If your parents are in the mindset that, ';Our house our rules';, then your probably not going to get very far till after you graduate.





I admire the fact that you show such wonderful potential (via your building up trust). But it's not always about your actions, it also about the world we live in and the dangers.





If I were you, I would ask my parents if they would consider working out a plan so you could stay out later. Tell them to think it over before they give you an answer. If you don't hear back from them about this after a week. Go ahead and ask what they thought about it. Give them that time to consider what you have ask. This shows maturity on your part.





You gain this way by:





1: Not being perceived as being pestering.





2: You learn more about where they stand on this issue, what they feel comfortable with and what they consider acceptable. This knowledge will prove useful to you.








Jammer
Well since you will be turning 18 soon I say you should get a job and find some room mates and move out so you can make your own decisions. You will legally be an adult soon.
You sound pretty well rounded and i hope my kids are like that when they are 17/18 years old. Im not sure what your curfew is now but you are pretty well an adult and a curfew seems to be a little much, but thats just me. You are only in highschool for a little while longer and still have to follow the rules if you are under their roof, unless you start paying your own way around the house. Sit your parents down and talk with them like adults, and explain to them what it is what you want and why. If they dont budge (wich they should give a little) and you dont like it, either suck it up, or move out with some friends.
Well, sit your parents down and present to them what you've presented here. Have the list you've written her in front of you so you can refer to it. Be ready to reply to them with any questions they have to you. IE: getting in to a car with a friend who's been drinking (even tho he/she was supposed to be the designated driver)





The key thing is to be calm and cool when you sit down with them and be ready for any ';curve balls'; they throw your way.





Good luck - you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.