Parenting a teen, need advice please?

I see my daughter every other weekend (she lives with her dad) and i know this is my fault but when she's supposed to be visiting with me she'd rather be with her old friends that she doesn't get to see anymore. I understand that completely i was her age once. My mother thinks i'm crazy for not making her stay with me, i just feel guilty not letting her go see her friends. For certain reasons her friend doesn't come over anymore ( it has absolutely nothing to do with me). I miss her too and i tell her that. She 12 and a half. Any advice?Parenting a teen, need advice please?
This is where you two learn to compromise.


She will protest and I bet she will scream...





Maybe give her 1/3 of her time with you to spend with her friends, and the 2/3 of the time to spend with you. Tell her that it doesn't matter if she likes it, you are her mother and until she pays for her own bills, she has to abide to your rules.





Giving a kid too much control is a very grave mistake. She will not only apply this to her family life, but to her professional life as well. How will she ever finish school or get a job with that kind of ideas that she gets everything her way??





Give her some time with her friends, so that you aren't getting 100% your way, but make sure you get things more your way than hers... NO 50/50. This isn't a marriage, this is your kid, and you are to disciple and teach your kid that the authorities are in charge.





Don't let fear of her hating you stop you from trying to be close to her. The older she gets, the harder it will be. Sadly, it could become serious in the future.





So, make sure that when she's with you, it's going to go your way.





give her a little freedom, but she has to know it's a privileged, and can be taken away.





If you neglect this, it won't avoid the things you want to avoid..she will get worse.Parenting a teen, need advice please?
As she is only 12 and a half, you must realize that she will want to be more involved with her friends. She might not understand that the time you two have together is extremely special to you. Maybe if you sit down and explain to her that you would like to spend time with her as much as you can. Also, try to even out the days. For example, let her play with her friend eevery couple of days and save the rest of the time for 'quility time' together. Even if it's just watching a movie together. I can tell you love your daughter, but you have to stop feeling guilty. It's extremely natural to feel that way.





I hope I helped you alittle. :)
usually a parent is advised to take control but its obvious in split families like yours there is little to no control to take. First win your daughters attention, she doesnt want to deal with a split family. She'd rather be somewhere else where she feels its stable. Make spending time with her about exploring your youth and her teen years. Be there for her as a mom and friend, get your hair done with her. Let her have a sleep over of friends. If her friends are not around, make it a mom/ daughter thing. In other words ';bond';. She needs to feel safe before she'll want to be around. Forcing her will only make her rebel at this time.
You could always try compromising. Say you get her on a Friday night, and she stays until Sunday. Take her to dinner Friday night and then give her the day Saturday to do whatever she wants, as in, spend time with you, or with her friends.





Offer to do something so she's not just sitting around. It doesn't have to cost money. Maybe have a picnic in the park, or make a scrapbook together.





Sunday is your day. Tell her that you don't get to see her much, so you'd like to make Sunday morning / afternoon a mother-daughter day. There's lots of creative crafts to do. You can even look up foreign or silly recipes online and make them together.
Ooh, that's a tough situation.


I don't know if maybe you'd be able to get a little more time with her? Like even one more night a week.


If not, maybe you guys could set aside some mother-daughter time each weekend, even if it's just for a couple hours. Like going out to lunch, renting a movie, going to get pedicures or something...that way, she still has a lot of time to spend with her friend.


On the bright side, it'll probably get easier when she's a little older and she gets her driver's license, then she can visit a little more often. But it's really important that you guys maintain a strong relationship.


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Try planning a trip or a mini-vacation where both of you go away for the weekend. It will allow you to spend time with her and hopefully create some bond that will help enforce her wanting to stay with you over the weekend.





I wouldn't force her to do it--that would just cause animosity.
do you drive? take her and one friend on a drive with their type of tunes blasting. laugh, joke and have fun! Make yourself the one she wants to be around! Don't share your problems with her..just listen to her..She wants to be with you she just doesn't know how!
I say it is every other weekend and she should spend time with you, you are her mother. Its not like she never sees her friends, she has the other weekends and at school to see her friends.
take her and her friends somewhere. Go see a movie, go to the mall.
How far apart do you live?
Well I'm 14 . %26amp; i live my dad as well. I see my mom every weekend. %26amp; as long as we were doing something entertaining %26amp; not sitting around, i was fine being with her %26amp; spending time with her rather than be with friends. Cause i see them on the week days so its not so bad. But if anything did come up, she'd let me go hang out %26amp; do w/e with somebody else. She's been trying to get me back under her roof against my will, she's sad a lot of bad %26amp; hurtful things about me %26amp; my dad especially in court in hopes of getting me taken away from him. %26amp; she wonders why I'm so tense when im around her now a days ? She plays dumb. She thinks i know nothing, when I DO. Don't force her. It'll just bring drama between you %26amp; her. Been there done that. Do something fun to maybe lurr her in, but not against her own free will. Sure your her mother, but she does have a life. %26amp; she's at the stage where (from my experience) she's trying new things, wants to rebel against her parents, blahblahblah %26amp; you don't want to encourage that. I've been down a bumpy road when i was 12 . But I'm better now, %26amp; more wise. Go shopping, tanning, out to dinner or make a night a movie night. Do girly things. I liked it better when my mother was more of my best friend, rather than my enemy, or my mother. Trust me.
how long have u been letting this slip by? thats how long it will take to fix the problem. i would plan something that she cant get out of doing with you..maybe go on a trip together. sounds like you need some serious one on one time. make it just the two of you and get away. if you cant afford it just go for a drive to the beach or the park and pack a lunch. if she gives u push back let her, just dont let her out of your date no matter what she says. once ur together try to make a connection so the next time its not so hard. start cutting out some weekends w/her friends. explain that her friends can see her every 3rd time she comes. let her know u understand she wants to see them but if she can imagine how much you wanna see her. its not gonna happen over night but dont give in or u might as well not even start.
Plan to take her to somewhere and do an enjoyable activity for both of you, like the beach, an all day amusement park, a museum, or a huge mall to do shopping. That way she can't escape to her friends. Perhaps you can let her invite one friend to go along with you. Not two or more. Two friends means you will not be part of their conversations and the temptation to go off on their own will be overwhelming. The time you spend with your daughter is precious, and she doesn't realize that. She is rapidly approaching the age where teens no longer think it important to absorb parental advice. That is why two's company, three's a crowd as the saying goes.
I'm 23 so not too much older that I can't relate to being a teenager, bc trust me, i remember it :(





I think that you should sit her down and make a schedule (in a fun way) of activities you're going to do together, (go see a movie, dinner, hang-out time, etc) and then, you can put in ';friend time'; . Maybe if she wants to go to the movies with her friends during the day, you ask if you could do dinner with her? Also, let her know that you're going to follow it so that its fair for everyone. unless something out of the ordinary comes up ( a friends bday, or something like that)..but if that happens just let her know that she can go, but she has to switch something around so that you don't lose mother-daughter time.I think i would've been ok with that...and be happy she's 12 1/2 so she wont be wanting to take the car and go to any wild parties or anything.





I used to want nothing to do with my parents on the weekends..only friends..now my mom is my best friend :)





good luck! :)